Smoke Signals
by Magenta's Nightmare
Summary: Carol reaches out for help fighting an addiction and finds just what she really needs in life. M for mature in later chapters. My AU stories may be OOC at times, don't like? don't read:)
1. Chapter 1

_**Snuffed out**_

 _ **~ Get out of your own head for while, honey. There's a big world out there and it's nice to share it with other people.**_

 _ **~ Mom, what does that even mean? Why can't I just stay in my head where at least I make sense?**_

 _ **~ You'll get it someday, hun.**_

 _ **##########################**_

At 16 this made very little sense to Carol. She lived her life with her nose in a book and headphones on her head and she was happy. Why change it?

She always had a few friends but mostly kept herself to herself. At 34 she had never gotten married but marriage wasn't for everyone and she did have relationships with men. Carol just didn't have (move in and touch all my stuff and tell me what to do) kind of relationships.

She was in the process of clearing out the things she wanted from her mom's place. Carol's mom, Tabitha died just over a week ago and the house had been emptying out steadily since she had gone into hospice two months before. She gathered a few personal items she wanted to remember her and she wanted a cigarette so bad her skin was crawling.

All she wanted was one smoke to get through this and then tomorrow she would...

It was always the same, there was always one more she needed and she knew there always would be.

There came a point when her mom didn't speak anymore, right before the end. The last proper conversation they had was her mother imploring her to quit and she held her hand and promised she'd never touch them again.

She had left the cancer ward of the hospice with the promise still on her lips and sank into the seat of her car in the parking lot to light up.

She cried, there was nobody around to witness all this but her, how could she do it alone without her friend? Smoking was a friend for her. It wasn't like people it was a beautiful relationship. Or so it seemed.

A sick, twisted but beautiful relationship that offered her exactly what she thought she needed on demand and asked nothing in return...but her life?

She'd lit up right there in the car and immediately the guilt engulfed her.

One good long drag and she opened the car window to throw it on the pavement. Tears burning in her eyes.

Even after smoking decided to take her mom she was still desperately hooked.

What the hell was she supposed to do?

She quit so many times she hated herself for all her failures.

It was spring and the sky was blue with white puffy clouds yet she felt so black inside, chained to the earth by addiction and grief.

 _How the fuck do non smokers deal with this shit?_

She resented all the bright, chipper, spunky non smokers at work.

She knew deep down her resentment was all bullshit though, she was just mad at herself. There had to be an answer. Patches and pills and gum and yet here she was still looking for the answer.

 _Is there AA for smokers?_

That evening, after packing up her mom's place, she came home to her little apartment. Her apartment was her safe zone.

The walls were lined with books and it was sparsely decorated. She liked life uncluttered and uncomplicated, she valued comfort above all.

She gathered up her ashtrays and lighters and tossed them away. She broke out the cleaning supplies and a bottle of wine and cranked up the music on her headphones.

Carol cleaned until she could pretend a smoker never lived there. Half a bottle of wine later she eyed her laptop and approached it with apprehension. She searched:

 _~ quit smoking support online_

It was worth a shot right? She took a long sip waiting for a result to pop up and found the first few were not quite was she was looking for, whatever that was.

Finally a site called Smoke/Free caught her eye and she sighed before clicking on it.

It was a bunch of people quitting and forums and information, it looked vaguely interesting.

She had just enough wine in her system to make herself create a profile.

 _I need to figure something out, maybe this is it._

She had no idea what to put for a username, she wasn't a twitter person or a Facebook person and all this was foreign.

She looked at some other names and muddled together something random and goofy, who cared?

HRCarol would be the name, she was Carol from HR so it worked. In the huge insurance building she worked in there was Carol in accounting, Cafeteria Carol and she was Carol from HR.

She found the least objectionable image of herself for a profile picture and trudged on. A picture where she was only half looking at the camera would work, she hated pictures. If it weren't for the wine she wouldn't be doing this. _Stupid wine_.

She scanned the forum and read countless messages of people seeking and giving advice. _What the hell do I say?_

She settled on the simplest thing she could think of.

 _ **HRCarol ~ I just quit smoking, I'm finding it very hard.**_

She waited a few minutes convinced nobody would answer and she'd be lost in the never ending credits of messages.

Finally a response came and she groaned, her first time reaching out and it's nothing but grief.

 _ **Admin22 ~ If you are committed to change it doesn't have to be hard.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I'm not sure how helpful that is right now.**_

 _ **Admin22 ~ If you maintain a positive attitude anything is possible.**_

She wondered if these people were for real, they sounded like self help books full of meaningless platitudes. It was great that this person had found a way to quit but it's like she had forgotten the struggle completely.

 **HRCarol ~ Ugh! Never mind.**

This was why it was better in her head!

 _ **Admin22 ~ It won't work if you aren't ready for help.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I just buried my mother recently, I'm having a rough night.**_

 _ **Admin22 ~ All the more reason to try.**_

Carol rolled her eyes and downed another big sip. _Fuck this!_

She lay back on her couch and closed her eyes fighting the urge to light up.

She sat up after a moment and was about to shut her computer when she saw a 1 next to a mailbox on the screen. _What is this?_

She decided to delete the account for all the help it was but she was a curious soul and had to see what the 1 meant.

 _ **Daryl ~ hi**_

She sighed and frowned. _What is this mess now?_ From what she could see Daryl was some kind of construction worker in a distant image on the screen. _What does this fool want?_

 _ **HRCarol ~ hi? Sorry, I'm kinda having a bad night...**_

 _ **Daryl ~ I noticed that. Just wanted to say hi and tell you that not everyone here is an asshole.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ That's good to know.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ I managed to quit 5 months ago, it can help being here.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I'm new to this. You aren't a serial killer, are you?**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Nope, just wanna help. I know how hard it is.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I'm only kidding, you seem very nice. Thanks.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ I'm around a lot if you're ever having a nic fit;) I get em still sometimes.**_

It turned out you could be socially awkward even with complete strangers online too.

 _When do you say goodbye? How do you know when they want to go?_

 _What the hell it the etiquette?_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I appreciate that, Daryl:)**_

After 10 minutes without a response she was proud to have survived her first encounter with a stranger online. She still wanted to smoke but decided if Mr. What's-his-face on the computer could do it, maybe she could too. For tonight she would finish her wine and play her music loud, trying not to think about the _'nic fit'_ she'd surely have in the morning.

 _ ***Just a note before I hear from anyone who has misunderstood my motivations here:) I smoked for 15 years and I get this kind of addiction and pain inside and out. My dad still smokes and I DO NOT want this story to come off as preachy but just an exploration of what many smokers go through. I don't think many non smokers understand how painful it can be to let go of an emotional crutch you may have had since childhood. I can say that quitting was easily the hardest thing I EVER did in my whole life. Also the loss of Carol's mother is not going to be a huge plot point in this story, if anyone is sensitive to that kind of loss. It is simply the motivation for her to make the personal decision to quit and reach out for help. I have lost people to smoking and have worked in palliative care and hope nobody thinks I'm exploiting these sensitive subjects in any way. They say write what you know, I know this.**_

 ** _Love Magenta xoxo_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ash**_

The next morning, no coffee was strong enough and she regretted punishing herself.

When she got to work she felt 10 years older than normal. Everyone was giving her a break still, due to her mother dying. In fact, nobody spoke much to her.

She took some Tylenol, trying to ignore the smoking crowd as they shuffled out at around 10am for that first glorious break of the day. She sucked on a cough drop, as it was the only thing in her desk and the day crept on.

By the afternoon she broke down and went in search of help.

 _ **HRCarol ~ :( nic fit...what helps?**_

She got up and walked to the coffee room for more of the black gold and devoured a cream filled doughnut like she was starving. She moaned in delight at the sensation of whipped cream on her tongue. She just needed something to do with her mouth, as awful as it sounded. She picked up her coffee and walked out past a colleague who notified her that she had cream on her lips.

When she got back to her desk her mailbox had another 1, she squinted her eyes and clicked on it.

 _ **Daryl ~ music, ice water with lemon, call a friend, chew gum, cry, scream, punch something (like a pillow, don't hurt yourself) but don't give up:)**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ You're an angel. I'm going to try crying next. Boston cream doughnuts can't keep being a 'go to' option like this morning.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Don't be crazy, those are the best! Do what you gotta do. Back to work:( hang in there OK?**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ thanks for the pep talk:)**_

Carol grinned, she didn't want a smoke anymore. It was like magic. The day finally came to an end and she stopped by the grocery store to get some vegetables for a stir fry. _May as well eat healthy now._

Carol turned music on her computer and got cooking as soon as she got home. The phone rang and she picked it up not really wanting to talk to anyone, but what was new?

"Hey, Carol! Do you want to come out tonight?"

"You know...I just kinda..."

"I'll come get you in an hour, OK? You need to get out."

The phone clicked and she sighed heavily. Maddy wouldn't take 'please no, leave me alone' for an answer. They always ended up having a great time and she was probably right about getting out. Maddy had known her since high school and wouldn't take any of her recluse nonsense.

She ate while singing along to the music and out of curiosity she checked Smoke/Free.

 _ **Daryl ~ Just thought about it, cinnamon hearts!**_

 _ **I got hooked on those things when I quit and they burned my tongue but they helped.**_

Nobody was this cute, he had to be a serial killer.

He had left the message an hour ago but she figured she'd answer anyway.

 _ **HRCarol ~ Aren't they hard to come by when it's not February?**_

Carol got up and changed her shirt and dug through her purse for enough make up to make her look like she cared. She sat back at the counter when her food was finished and woke the computer up.

 _ **Daryl ~ There's this place called Cathedral Confections where you can get them year round in my city but I don't know about where you are. Never mind.**_

Carol choked on her water and stared at the screen, this man was in Regina too. She'd been in the place he mentioned before, was this some kind of trick?

She just imagined him living somewhere in the U.S. or anywhere else for that matter.

It gave her the creeps for a moment, just the coincidence of it all.

 _ **HRCarol ~ I can't believe this O_O You're in Regina?**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Yes, are you too?**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ yes**_

 _ **Daryl ~ You need to go get some hearts then, be careful with your tongue though;)**_

They chatted until Maddy showed up, it was weird to feel closeness with a person she'd never met but he was sweet. He wasn't from Saskatchewan, he was a long way from his home back in Newfoundland which explained why he was so chatty to strangers online. He was a crane operator working at the expansion of the oil refinery on the outskirts of town. It sounded impressive to her and she kinda wished she could hear his accent. She always loved a Newfie accent when she heard one on TV.

She found herself looking closer at the picture of the man on the screen, trying to get a good idea of his face. The picture was taken from a fair distance and all she could really make out was a smile and an arm waving. The man had on coveralls and work boots with a baseball cap. Carol couldn't explain it to herself but she liked him.

When she and Maddy got to the lounge she tried to not bring up the site she had joined, Maddy would tease her.

"Is everything with your mom's stuff taken care of?"

"Yes. It's been a hell of a few months, Maddy."

She was tired from it all and she could hear it in her own voice.

"You need to get out there and meet someone, get your mind off it," Maddy insisted, scanning the room for her next take down.

"That's your answer to everything," Carol shrugged.

Carol had a tall gin and soda and worked her way onto the next in no time. She had been drinking a little too much lately and decided after she tied one on tonight she'd get herself in order.

"I can't stay out late, I have meetings tomorrow but you are gettin' a buzz on lady!" Maddy said, grinning and walking over to play some music on the juke box.

Carol found herself wanting to check the site but they had a "no phone" rule when they went out. Carol was always trying to read online while talking. She never meant to be inconsiderate and Maddy knew that, she accepted her as she was.

Maddy played "Paradise by the dashboard light" by Meatloaf just because she she always did. Carol, being as reserved as she was, still couldn't resist singing along and soon she was stumbly drunk.

Four more gin and she was acting goofy but Maddy cut out early on her. Carol was miffed since she hadn't wanted to go out anyway.

She took a cab home with just enough of a buzz to be sloppy and slipped through her door not ready to sleep.

She went for her computer to see what the Smoke/Free people had to say about resisting temptation while drunk.

She found a message from Daryl and clicked on it, he only ever seemed to communicated through DM.

 _ **Daryl ~ hope you're behaving yourself tonight, just kidding. You can do this!**_

It was 10pm and he had left the message at 8:30 but she felt compelled to respond.

 _ **HRCarol ~ I did, but I had one too many drinks. I'm kinda hurtin' for a smoke but I'll behave.**_

Much to her surprise he answered her right away.

 _ **Daryl ~ Good girl. Just think of something else. It'll pass, I promise.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ Nothing seems as interesting as a smoke right now but I'll try.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ If you were a man you could just think about sex. Lol**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I'll try that...**_

Carol couldn't help giggling to herself the second she hit send, she wasn't this girl but it was fun. A few minutes passed and she wondered what he was thinking.

 _ **Daryl ~ Wait...are you thinking about sex?**_

She wondered if this was going too far but couldn't stop.

 _ **HRCarol ~ I'm trying to but it's hard to get inspired without thinking of the Marlboro man:(**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Just close your eyes and take some deep breathes and think of whatever you like best in bed. I won't even ask you to describe it...**_

For some reason she did exactly as the stranger asked and right away a nice sexy thought came to mind. She got caught up in it for a second and then figured she should answer.

 _ **HRCarol ~ I was just thinking about someone kissing my neck, that's always nice.**_

She wondered why the hell she was telling this to a complete stranger and suddenly the dark side of drinking kicked in. She felt vulnerable and alone. She could hear her mother telling her to go to bed before she did something she'd regret.

 _ **Daryl ~ You have a pretty neck, hope you have someone to kiss it for you.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I don't, but I'll survive.**_

Another minute passed and she wanted to close the computer and go to bed, she was making an ass of herself.

 _ **Daryl ~ I'd kiss it for you, if it'll help;)**_

She couldn't breathe for a moment staring at the screen.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Smouldering**_

Carol couldn't tell if this was just what she needed right now or the most ridiculous idea in the world but something pushed her further.

 _ **HRCarol ~ You don't have to say that but thank you.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable? I'm living in a basement room with 4 other men, sorry.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ You didn't make me uncomfortable, this is just new to me.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Me too, I just think you're pretty. I got carried away.**_

What could be the harm in letting someone know they made you feel good?

 _ **HRCarol ~ It made my night to be honest. It's been a long few months.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Sorry about that:( You're doing a good thing for yourself though so that's good.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I'm definitely trying.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ I never talked to anyone like this so warn me if I go too far, don't wanna get arrested.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ I liked it. I won't call the police, promise.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ So you like when your neck is kissed? What else?**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ Nope, it's your turn.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Nobody ever kissed my neck but I think I'd like it too.**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ Really? You would like it, I'm pretty sure.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ It's been well over a year, I don't remember what I like. Lol**_

 _ **HRCarol ~ Same here. I really like talking to you. Even if we aren't talking.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ We are in the same city, maybe I could call you?**_

It was just a phone call but it made her nervous, she wasn't this person. She had been so sad and so stressed for so long she wasn't sure who she was these days. Communicating with him was the only thing to make her smile genuinely in ages, what could be the harm?

 _ **HRCarol ~ You really want to?**_

 _ **Daryl ~ I want to hear your voice.**_

Before she could stop herself she gave him her number and sat next to the phone still tipsy and with a stomach full of butterflies.

When it rang she cleared her throat and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey you."

His voice was deep and smooth with the Newfoundland lilt to it that made her want to hear more.

"Oh my goodness, that accent," she whispered without meaning to.

She probably should be sober for this phone call.

He laughed on the other end of the line and she loved the sound of it.

"Ya like it?"

"No, I love it!"

"You prairie girls are easily pleased, I like your voice too."

"This is really weird."

"Yeah, but it's nice to be talking to someone. I'm in this basement room with guys who only talk about video games, sports and... never mind."

She laughed, picking up on what he was talking about.

"So you say this gets easier?"

"It does, you just gotta stay distracted for a while."

"I need a hobby," she giggled. She waited for a response and got none for a minute.

"You still there?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, I was thinkin' about your neck again," he laughed.

"You're incorrigible," she said in a tone that let on that she didn't mind at all.

Suddenly his voice got serious and very sexy sounding.

"Do you want me to stop?"

She took a deep breath and let it out with her eyes closed tight, trying to fight it and be reasonable.

"...no."

"So if I kissed your neck you might like that?"

"Jesus..." she whispered, softly.

She could almost hear him grinning over the phone, he was bad in the best way.

"What if I licked it?"

"Daryl...I..."

She could feel her body reacting to simple words over the phone. Her blood was conspiring against her, making her heart race and her face hot.

"I can stop if you want me to."

"No, don't stop," she said in a tone that sounded far more desperate than she would have liked.

This wasn't her at all but she didn't want to be herself right now.

He chuckled under his breath and continued to torture her with his words.

"It's a good distraction, right?"

"Uh huh." She melted at the sound of that accent and the deep timber of his voice.

"I like the sound of your voice, you sound kinda nervous and shy. Does that make me an asshole?"

"I don't even know right now," she said, honestly unsure of anything.

"Would a nervous sounding girl like you be offended if I pressed you against the wall and kissed you nice and soft?"

"Do you do this professionally or something?"

He laughed out loud at this.

"No, I'm just really lonely in a basement full of men and I don't watch porn. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, you're reeeeaaaallly good at this."

"Say something back," he said, sounding excited and hopeful.

She swallowed hard. _What the hell do I say?_

"Your voice makes me wish I could touch you right now."

Silence. _What is this silence?_

"Damn! Me too," he uttered.

She could hear it in his voice, he was feeling the heat too.

"Maybe I could be the first to kiss your neck," she said, getting into it. Being able to affect him over the phone gave her a strange sense of power that she liked.

 _What the hell is the end game to something like this?_

"You're pretty good at this too, Carol!"

The way he said her name made her grin. He had that vaguely Irish but not nearly as strong Newfie accent she loved, it made her name sound so different.

"What are we doing, Daryl?"

"I don't really know but I don't wanna stop."

"Me neither."

"You're accent is driving me crazy."

"You're sweet, I sound like a pirate."

"No, I really like it, Daryl."

"Why do I want to kiss you so bad?"

She smiled, this was ridiculous but she liked it.

"Same reason I want you to?"

"Knowing you're in the same city right now is killin' me."

She was done messing around she wanted more, more of his words.

"What would you do if you were here right now?"

She waited grinning and sitting cross legged on the couch. She wanted to squeal like a little girl, it was insane.

"You don't wanna know."

"Try me."

"I'd come through your door and press you to the wall. I'd take your face in my hands and kiss you slowly. I'm pretty hard up so I'd probably grab your leg around the back of your knee and push myself against you like an animal," he laughed.

She was actually getting wet just from words, she could hardly believe it.

"Jesus!"

"That sound good?" he asked.

"Oh yeah...I wish I knew what you looked like close up," she said in a low needy sounding tone.

"I only got one other picture of me on my computer but it's not very good."

"I'm sure it's fine."

He groaned, "OK, just a second."

She could hear him typing and then he told her to check the site.

She opened her computer and refreshed the screen and she sat staring, wide eyed, at the new profile picture.

He had long dark hair and someone had taken his picture as he was bent over putting his boots on. He was looking up through his hair with a grin that said he was a whole lotta fun or a whole lotta trouble.

"Told ya it was bad," he laughed.

"No, it's...I think I might pin you to the wall."

"Wow! Really?" He sounded completely incredulous, he had no idea he was attractive.

She looked at the clock and it was getting late, she had no idea where this was going or what the protocol was for this kind of interaction.

"Carol? Would you ever consider meeting me in person?"

She felt every nerve inside her light up and the butterflies were now swarming in her belly. She couldn't think of what to say, but she'd have to say something.

Before she could respond he spoke up.

"I'm sorry, forget I asked you that. I don't know what the hell I'm thinkin' I just...you're really pretty and I like talkin' to ya."

"I'll meet you, Daryl. I just wasn't expecting you to ask, that's all."

"I know you got a lot on your plate, I'm not trying to complicate things," he said. She could hear him moving around his room and she imagined him fidgeting.

"I really want to," she said. She was feeling things. She couldn't believe she was feelings things for him, what if he was a crazy person or something? He sounded sweet and not dangerous at all and she wanted to meet him, she had to.

She was letting someone in. She tried to think whether her mom would be happy or terrified for her.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I work until 4:30."

"I'm done at 3, can I take you out for a drink or something?"

"Sure, sounds good. So you really never did anything like this before?"

"Nope. Can you meet me at O'Hanlon's about 8?"

"I'll be there," she said, without letting herself overthink it.

"It's late and I gotta be up at 6. Goodnight, Carol. I can't wait to meet you."

"Me neither. Goodnight Daryl."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Kindling_**

Daryl got up with a heavy groan and walked into the main area where 4 other men were pacing around looking for clean socks and scratching their asses.

He sighed, he missed his place back in Newfoundland more all the time.

He had nothing to wear to take a woman out, he wondered if she'd be offended by jeans and a t shirt.

Daryl pulled on his coveralls and grabbed a coffee and some cereal before getting in the car with the other guys. They were all Newfies except one guy from Alberta and they didn't talk too much.

Daryl had been working this kind of job for years, away from home and living with strangers. It's likely why things had gone wrong for him with his ex wife but that was ancient history. Now he had a 15 year old back in St. John's who agreed with his mom that he should have been there more.

He was still supporting his family since his wife was disabled and there was never any work back home. He felt the pressure of responsibility but never had a way to make ends meet without working away. She had divorced him when their son was 8 but it he was still the provider, he couldn't stop taking care of things. He sent letters, called, and texted but he had the impression his son was still unimpressed.

He sent a Saskatchewan Roughriders sweater to him the day before hoping he could make amends a little.

Work was a grind and he was hoisting iron all day and maintaining his crane.

Daryl was nervous and convinced he'd never make it to a second date with this woman.

He never knew when he'd get a lay off and wondered what the hell he was doing getting involved with anyone. He could be sent home any time, he might be playing with his heart and hers if it did work out. How should he bring it up? Would it sound presumptuous to tell her this on the first date? He did want to seem like he was assuming she'd want to see him again.

When he got home he shaved and scrubbed himself. He threw a load of laundry in with the best of the clothes he had but it was all basically work gear.

He wandered around in his boxers and lay on the couch next to another Newfie named Jordan.

"What you doin' tonight?"

"Got a date," he said, watching Jordan play some kind of video game.

"Gonna lay the blocks to her?"

"It ain't like that," he said. None of the men here seemed to think relationships were a real thing. He wondered if any of them had ever loved anyone or if it was all just sex.

"Yeah, OK!" Jordan laughed, "What are ya gonna do? Take her back to Newfieland?"

"Sure, maybe."

Before he left he stood in front of a filthy bathroom sink that nobody ever cleaned but him and looked critically at himself.

 _Enjoy it, boy! She'll never be caught dead with you again._

He wanted to pick her up but she might have been creeped out getting in a car with a stranger from the internet.

He got to O'Hanlon's before her and ordered a pint of Guinness. He sipped it with his eyes on the door the whole time.

It got to be 8:20pm and he looked around himself feeling like everyone could see he'd been stood up. He got his phone out to fidget and wondered what had changed, maybe she came to her senses.

"I'm so sorry," she said, breathlessly.

He looked up at her face and couldn't say a word, she looked even prettier than her picture. She had short hair and red cheeks like she'd been running. She smiled at him, a warm sweet smile looking very apologetic. She had blue eyes and a black dress on with a green silk scarf.

"I couldn't find any parking close by and then I misplaced my bank card."

She sat down across the table from him.

 _Say something idiot!_

"That's OK."

 _Nice job._

She looked at him wondering what was wrong. Was she not what he expected?"

"Are you OK?"

She ran her fingers through her hair self consciously and bit her lower lip.

"You look beautiful, dear."

He called her dear, that was new. In that accent it was just the sweetest thing.

She blushed and looked around the room uncomfortably, she kinda wanted a smoke. She had been thinking about it all day, letting her nerves get the better of her.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked.

"Uh..." she stuttered, she said she wouldn't drink so she'd stick to it for once, "Ice tea, please."

"Great, just a second," he walked over to the bar and brought her drink back.

"Thanks." This was awkward as hell.

"So how is the non smoking going?"

"It's OK but I have moments when I think I'm going to break down." She shrugged her shoulders hoping he understood what she meant.

"I had that. I started listening to this meditation stuff that helped. I was desperate."

"Meditation?"

"Yeah, it's kinda dumb but it completely relaxes you."

"I need that," she laughed, taking a sip of her drink.

"It's not too late is it? You still hungry?"

"Sure, you?"

"I'm always hungry," he admitted.

They relaxed enough to get through dinner and then she didn't know where to go from that point.

"You really have been so sweet, quitting isn't easy," she said softly, when a silence cropped up.

"I feel like I have to pay it back since I finally manage to quit and then I saw you there and I just liked you," he smiled.

He was gorgeous and she couldn't stop imagining all the things he'd said over the phone.

"You're definitely paying it back, you've helped me a lot."

She put her hand into her purse and pulled out a few cinnamon hearts.

He laughed out loud.

"Do they help?"

"Yes, but they burn my tongue just like you said."

He shook his head and finished the last sip of his Guinness.

"What do you want to do now?"

She could only think of taking him back to her house but she wondered how that would come across. It was easier to be flirty over the computer.

"I don't know," she uttered.

"No? Uh...I hope you don't want to leave yet."

"Would you like to come over for a little while?"

She winced a bit, what the hell was she doing?

"Yeah, alright. Just lemme go pay."

He got up and started walking to the counter.

"But..." she began, grabbing her purse.

"No, no I asked you out."

When they got out onto the street he felt anxious and couldn't believe she'd asked him over. He walked her to her car and felt like he needed to double check.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

"I'm sure," she said, smiling up at him. He was tall enough she had to look up.

"Where do you live?"

"2522 Angus. St. Apartment 10."

"Alright, I'll see you there then."

He leaned in and kissed her cheek and she wanted to pull him closer. He smelled of soap and men's cologne and she wanted to drag him into her backseat. She lay her hand on his shoulder for the briefest of moments before he walked off to his car. When she got into her car she let out a little squeal, he was absolutely stunning.

She got to her house first and paced the floor looking out the window for him. She would normally smoke when she was this nervous but she just put a heart candy in her mouth and dealt with it.

He knocked on her door and she opened it offering a hello and stepping back.

"Don't worry, I ain't gonna force you against the wall or anything."

She grinned and stepped back as he entered. "That's a shame."

 _Damn it, Carol! Control your mouth!_

With eyes like saucers he looked at her.

"You teasin'?"

He looked her up and down in her simple black dress and nude pantie hoes. He prayed she wasn't playing games. It was way too soon and a very bad idea to jump at the chance like this but he still wanted to.

She shut the door behind him and slipped her feet out of her heels. She stepped in front of him and her eyes said it all, at least he hoped they did.

He reached for her. The hall was dark and she was in half shadow, half silhouette.

She put her hands on his shoulders and he walked toward her till she bumped into the wall.

He paused looking down at her face, waiting for her to object but she didn't say a word.

He took her face gently in his hands and moved in so slow her heart was racing. His eyes were closed as his lips touched hers and she made a soft sound against his mouth.

His hands touched her waist and he unconsciously dug his fingers into her skin through her dress. He had no idea how far to take this, he didn't really know this woman at all.

She tasted of cinnamon hearts and he didn't want to stop kissing her sweet lips.

He wanted to push his tongue into her mouth and started by licking her bottom lip. She let her hands drift from his shoulders to his chest and her mouth opened.

His tongue moved past her lips and touched hers. The taste of cinnamon and the feel of her dress in his hands was so good he kept chasing the high.

Outside a neighbourhood kid pulled up in his car blasting The Weekend. She loved the song playing, it pulled no punches and wasn't helping with her common sense.

 _You got me touchin' on your body  
To say that we're in love is dangerous  
But girl I'm so glad we're acquainted  
I get you touchin' on your body  
I know I'd rather be complacent  
But girl I'm so glad we're acquainted_

She sighed and leaned her head back closing her eyes. Just another minute and then she'd stop him, she had to. This whole thing was irrational.

When he saw her head go back he touched the side of her face bringing his mouth to her neck and she moaned. He'd hit her sweet spot and she relented.

His warm tongue licked at her earlobe and she took a handful of his t shirt in her fist pulling him in even closer.

He liked this woman, he wanted this woman, he may have to leave this woman.

"Wait...wait..." he said, trying to do the right thing.

She was panting and flushed, "What's the matter?"

"It's my job...if I get laid off I'll be going back to Newfoundland. I think I fucked up here."

She frowned and had no idea what to say to this. He threw a lot of information at her at once.

"Why did you ask me out only to tell me this now, Daryl?" she whispered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd even want to see me again but everything went so good. I just didn't expect this."

"What do we do?" she asked, straightening her dress and wiping her mouth with her hand.

"I don't know. I should have told you some things about my life first."

He took a step back and she was hurt, almost angry. Why did this man have to come along a play with a woman grieving her mother?

She felt adrenaline run up and down her arms and tried hard not to look sad.

"So...do you want to go then?" her voice was small, she cleared her throat and shifted looking up at him.

The car outside drove off taking the bass and sexual tension with it.

"I don't want to go, I wanna stay right here but I don't wanna hurt you either. I never thought it would go this far so fast."

She shook her head and took a rattly breath. Carol didn't even know where to look so she looked at his shoes.

"If you stay I think I could fall for you. This hurts, Daryl, but it's going to hurt so much more if you don't go."

"I don't want to walk out that door...but I understand."

He leaned down and kissed her goodbye. "I didn't mean for this to happen."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Embers**_

Carol felt deep regret the moment he left but she imagined him leaving after months of being together and decided she must be making the right decision.

She lay in her bed with the scent of him still on her skin. She wanted to call him but she realized he had her number and address but she didn't have his.

The next day dragged on and she couldn't think of a single reason not to smoke. She hit rock bottom, she just wanted to go back to her safe zone and smoke and drink.

She sat at her desk pushing paper until she was inches from cracking and then she logged onto Smoke/Free. The number 1 in red on the mailbox made her heart jump. She looked around the office and clicked on it.

 _ **Daryl ~ I just got home and I can't call you so late but I gotta tell you how sorry I am. I can't stop thinking of what you said and I can feel it too. I could fall in love with you so easy. I need to tell you everything so you can decide if it's worth it to you.**_

 _ **I have a son who's 15, back in Newfoundland. I'm divorced and I work away a lot, all over the country. All of this makes things complicated and I had no right dragging you into this, it was selfish. Maybe there's a way to make it all work though. I never felt like this about anyone so fast and I want to see you again so bad but I get it if this is too much for you.**_

 _ **If I don't hear from you again, please don't smoke. You can do this:)**_

By the time she finished it she felt choked up. She wanted to see him again too, she couldn't lie to herself.

She had to talk to Maddy. The second she got a free moment she called her and poured her heart out.

"What do you think? Tell me I'm crazy and to stop talking to him."

"This doesn't sound like you at all, Carol. I think you should see him though," Maddy insisted. She always spoke her mind.

"Maddy! This is gonna get me hurt in the end, I can feel it."

"How would you feel in a year from now if you don't see him again and he met someone else?"

"Horrible."

"Have you been thinking about him since last night?"

"Yes."

"Did kissing him make you weak in the knees?"

"Yes."

"You just answered your own questions, babe."

"You've been a lot of help, Maddy, thanks. When this leaves me in tears be ready with the ice cream."

"I'd rather do that than listen to you play "what if" if I have a choice."

Carol opened the page and knew what she had to do.

 _ **HRCarol ~ I don't know how this will go but I want to see you again.**_

She hit send before she could change her mind and went back to her cinnamon hearts and typing. She kept one eye on the mailbox and half an hour later she saw the little red 1.

 _ **Daryl ~ I can't believe it. That's great! When?**_

She grinned at how eager he came across, she was pretty eager too.

 _ **HRCarol ~ Stop by whenever you're ready tonight, I'll be home.**_

 _ **Daryl ~ Thanks. See ya tonight.**_

She wanted more of what happened last night, she wanted his mouth on her neck again.

She got through the rest of her day and stopped for sushi and a booster juice on the way. She was going to take better care of herself. Now that her mom was gone she needed to be her own best advocate.

She showered and ate her sushi, giddy to be seeing him despite the looming cloud of him leaving. She got into her favourite jeans and a red tank top and then changed 3 more times before settling on a khaki skirt and a white sleeveless top with silver buttons.

She turned on some music so it wouldn't be so quiet. Lana Del Rey would do but would probably inspire trouble as well.

When he knocked on her door she let him in and smiled. He brought her flowers. They were the kind you'd buy at the grocery store and he looked adorable holding them out to her.

"That's so sweet, thanks. Come in."

Maybe they could slow it all down just a little.

He sat on her couch and asked about her day.

"It was kinda long, I felt bad about last night. You kinda surprised me with that."

"I know, I didn't mean to."

"It's OK, just no more surprises." She laughed and sat next to him on the couch.

"You still doing OK with quitting?"

"I have bad moments but so far so good."

"I did all kinds of stuff to stay quit."

"I never heard of people meditating to quit smoking before."

"It works, you should try it."

"I wouldn't even know where to start," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I could show ya," he said, enthusiastically.

She looked at him skeptically, she had really just been humouring him.

"Seriously," he said, turning to her.

"OK." This was strange but she played along.

"Lay down on the couch and close your eyes."

She slid toward him and then slowly lay back hoping she hadn't misread him, she really didn't want to get murdered.

She lay her head on the arm of the couch and closed her eyes. The song West Coast was playing and she wanted him to touch her again.

 **I _can see my baby swingin'_**  
 ** _His Parliament's on fire and his hands are up  
On the balcony and I'm singing  
Ooh, baby, ooh, baby, I'm in love_**

"Alright, you ready?"

"I have no idea...yes?"

She heard him chuckle under his breath.

"Take a few really deep, really slow breaths."

She did as he asked her to and tried to focus on not being paranoid.

"Good...now imagine a warm white light moving over your face and relax all the muscles of your face."

His voice took on a sleepy, deep, sexy sounding quality and she let the muscles around her eyes and mouth relax.

 ** _You push it hard, I pull away, I'm feeling hotter than fire  
I guess that no one ever really made me feel that much higher  
Te deseo, cariño, boy, it's you I desire  
Your love, your love, my love_**

"Alright, now imagine the warm white light moving down into your shoulders and back...the light causes all the muscles in your body to become loose and relaxed but just focus on your shoulders and back right now."

By the time he talked her through all the way to her toes she was convinced she was half asleep.

She felt her mind was almost separate from her body, light as air and floaty.

He hadn't said anything in a few minutes and eventually he talked her out of it.

She opened her eyes and he hadn't moved a muscle, he stayed right where he had been.

"How do you feel?"

"Amazing actually, I always thought meditation was nonsense. I feel so relaxed."

"Good, now you can do it yourself if you need to."

"I like your voice though," she said, looking into his eyes. She was so glad he was there.

"Yeah?" he asked, leaning his head back onto the back of her couch.

She wanted to kiss him but neither of them moved until a minute later he slid his hand across the couch cushion and touched hers. His hand moved over hers and she closed hers eyes feeling the warmth of it.

She could feel him move closer and she opened her eyes to see him right in front of her.

"Can I kiss you, Carol?"

"Yes."

It was slow like before, he turned his head to the side and had his eyes closed. She was watching and he looked so nervous. She shut her eyes as well and moved close enough to lay her hand on his thigh. She moved her head right next to his and whispered, "Tell me if you like this."

She touched his cheek and brought her mouth to his throat and kissed it slow and moved her body right over his kissing toward his ear.

She heard him moan and she grinned against his neck.

"You're right...I do like it."

She moved her hand to the back of his head and continued to kiss his neck slow and soft. She finished by running the tip of her tongue over his earlobe the way he had done to her and he hissed grabbing for her.

He lifted her onto his lap without warning and pushed her skirt up her thighs enough for her to get her legs around his hips. It was so sudden and the way he moved her with no effort made her feel like some kind of doll.

He let his hands rest on her knees and kept them there for a long time leaning forward to kiss her.

She kissed him harder feeling the new, unfamiliar tension grow. His hands began moving up her open thighs, under her skirt and she knew it wasn't going to stop this time.


	6. Chapter 6

_**If you don't like detailed smut, stop reading and proceed to next chapter.**_

 _ **Open Flames**_

He'd never dream of touching a woman with her eyes closed but the thought crossed his mind. She was laying back in front of him breathing softly with her hands on her stomach. She trusted him and he wouldn't lay a hand on her but her leg was open and bent at the knee and her other foot was on the floor. She was covered by her skirt but he could picture it so well it didn't matter. The couch was too small for her to stretch out, hence the bent leg and she was killing him.

He thought he heard his voice crack when he told her to imagine the white light moving down her hips and legs, he was killing himself too.

She was completely motionless save for her breath and the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Only once did she move and that was to run her tongue along her lips.

He imagined running his hand up her skirt, up the inside of that open thigh.

When the meditation was over and she opened her eyes he tried to think of a smooth way to make his intentions clear but settled for touching her hand and hoping for the best. Her lips on his neck had made him so hard he needed her as close as he could get her. His ex never did this and it made his body catch fire. He never planned to snatch her up onto his lap but she didn't smack him and he was very glad.

Now with his hands moving up her smooth thighs he hoped she was up for it. He'd stop if she wanted but if she didn't there was nothing he wouldn't do to make her feel good.

His hands approached the point of no return and his thumbs were inches from the crotch of her panties while his other fingers rested on the top of her legs. She was breathing deep but fast and he let one hand move around her body. He held her hip in one hand and his fingers slid around the back to touch her ass. He felt her roll her hips on his lap and he groaned into her mouth. He wanted her so bad he was terrified to fuck it up, he'd only just met her but he knew it was something different.

Without realizing it his right thumb touched her underwear when she moved and she shuddered against him. He was rock hard underneath her and she continued moved herself against his thumb, by his guess it was touching her just where women really like it. He felt so hot, like his skin was radiating with heat and lust. He wanted to maintain some control but he was eager to please her and could feel himself losing composure.

##############################################

He had to know what he was doing to her, she couldn't take much more. Carol was a heartbeat away from cumming with her panties still on. She needed to slow it down. Moving back a few inches she reached between them and touched him through his pants and squeezed gently.

"Carol...please..."

She knew just what he meant and moved off his lap long enough to get his pants undone. He reach for her, swiftly undoing the silver buttons of her shirt. She shrugged it off her shoulders and pulled his jeans down his legs.

She wanted him inside her so badly she couldn't see straight. He turned her around, still sitting on the couch, and unzipped her skirt to reveal black boy cut panties.

She removed her bra and his eyes said it all, he liked what he saw.

He thought he could handle just a little more teasing so he took her hand and pulled her back onto his lap. She settled her body down on his hardness and let out a whine, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands came up to cup her breasts and she moaned loudly.

He paid attention to signals like this and obeyed the obvious.

His kissed her chest between her breasts and then took one in his hand before drifting his tongue over her nipple.

"Fuuuuuck!"

"Are we gonna do this?" he asked, suddenly thinking protection might be an idea.

"We better," she sighed. Carol couldn't bear to stop now and, for once in her life, she was happy to be outside her comfort zone.

"I don't have anything,"

"Just a second."

She got up and walked to the bedroom and he was mesmerized by her ass in those black panties.

When she came back she handed him a condom and he smiled placing it on the coffee table.

"Not yet," he said. Taking her in his arms and sitting her on the couch.

She leaned the small of her back against the arm of the couch and pulled him close. He took a hold of her panties at the waist and she lifted herself as he slid them down her legs. She moved to lay back but he stopped her.

"Stay like that a second, I want you to watch."

"Huh?"

"Trust me, OK? This is a special Newfie move."

She grinned and he nudged one of her feet down to the floor and pushed her other leg against the back of the couch. She had no idea what was going on or why she was sitting up until he lowered his lips to her inner thigh.

She watched him move further and further up her leg and the sight of it and the anticipation was unbearable. He came down on his belly and slid his hands under her thighs holding tight to her hips.

Could she watch this? She never had before. He backed up a few inches and touched her between her legs gently with the tips of his fingers. Her head rolled back unconsciously and he pushed one of his fingers inside her. She hissed and moved a hand to his shoulder. She couldn't help looking back at him and his fingers disappearing deep inside her. It was painfully sexy to see, she was gonna cum any minute.

He paused long enough to make sure he had her full attention.

"Keep watching...this is the best part," he growled, and she nodded her head.

She had been trying to hold out by closing her eyes but now she had to watch him suck her lips softly into his mouth and then pushed them apart to taste her.

"You Newfie boys are evil!" she panted.

He grinned and continued, never missing a beat. He made sure she was looking and then slid his tongue back and forth across her clit slow and rapturously until she broke.

Her back arched and she came loudly whining, panting and growling. She had never felt anything like it. She'd have a lot to live up to when it came her turn, but then next thing she knew he was sitting back on the couch sliding the condom over his dick.

"Wait, don't you want...?"

"I'm good, you sure you're OK with this?"

"Yes, come here."

She lay back and he crawled over her looking into her eyes and then kissing her forehead.

He held onto her hip and he entered her slow and she gasped sharply at the size of him. He wasn't abnormally long but wider than she was used to.

"Just slow...slow at first."

He listened and the slow pace felt incredible. Her body made him crazy and he knew he had to keep her close somehow, she was very special.

He was falling for her and it was inescapable.

She moaned under him and he tried going just a little faster and deeper.

He had amazing stamina and fucked her for 10 minutes and still hadn't cum.

"Is it OK?" she asked. She wasn't used to it taking so long.

"Oh yeah, I'm just holding out cause it feels good. Why you done?"

"No, it just never lasts this long. Keep going it, feels good for me too."

"Can we switch it up?" he asked.

"Sure."

She got up and he sat back in the couch reaching for her. She loved being on top and she climbed onto his lap and straddled him. In this position she could feel his dick pressing against the front wall of her vagina and it was pushing her swiftly into orgasm number two. He held her ass in his hands and rocked her on top of him.

She moved one leg up to rest her foot on the couch instead of her knee and it was suddenly so deep and the angle just right. She came again unexpectedly, leaning back just a little and digging her fingernails into his shoulder. Only a few minutes later he finally lost the war and pulled her down hard onto him repeating her name over and over into the dim living room.

She clung to him, afraid to let go of the experience. Minutes later he still had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his face pressed to her breasts. Neither of them dared to break it up.

 *** It's pretty smutty, I know, but that's just how it came out. Hope people still like my work, I got a review that kinda stung. Anyway, this is what I came up with. love ya! xoxox**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Steady Burn**_

"I don't know what just happened here but...I don't wanna let you go."

She knew exactly what he meant, it was more than sex. She was a grown up, she'd had casual sex although only a few times. Even when it was hot and heavy she didn't feel anything like this.

"I still can't believe you'll be leaving," she said, sounding sad.

He had followed her back to her bed where he lay wrapped up in her. He needed to get home at some point because he had to work early but a good cuddle after that kind of sex was a necessity.

"It might not be for months, I just really needed you to know that first. I know you just lost your mom and everything."

She snuggled into his chest and sighed.

"I do appreciate you being up front with me. So we might have time to figure it all out then?" she asked, feeling better about it knowing it wouldn't be next week or anything.

"Sure we will," he insisted.

"I have to tell you, nobody ever made me feel like that, Daryl. You're amazing."

He rolled over her kissing her neck.

"Yeah? You're a happy girl then? "

He tickled her ribs and she laughed hysterically.

"You like what I do to ya?" he growled, tackling her on the bed.

"Yes! Stop, please!" she gasped, losing her breath.

He made her laugh till exhaustion but eventually stopped when she begged. Before she knew it midnight had come and she knew he had to leave.

"I gotta go," he said, kissing her and then getting out of bed.

She felt cold already having him leave but was determined to keep her dignity about it.

She smiled watching him gather his clothes and get dressed.

"It feels wrong to leave right now but I need my steel toed boots and my work stuff."

"It's OK," she said, sitting up in bed.

He hugged and kissed her again.

"I'll call you after work then, hey?"

"OK, drive safe."

When he left she missed him right away.

She could hear her mom giving her grief about putting out in the first week. Carol spoke to her mom about everything, even things she probably should have kept to herself. Now she had only Maddy but she was very grateful for that.

It definitely wasn't a smart move to jump into things so fast with someone who could be leaving but she knew she'd regret not trying.

Work was monotony at it's worst, she really hated her job these days. She couldn't wait to hear his voice again and when the work day ended she was proud to still be a non smoker. People at work started asking her why she wasn't going out for smoke breaks. She felt almost cocky about it, she really didn't see herself going back to it.

When she got back to her apartment she decided to relax and read for a while. Within an hour Daryl called saying he needed to talk and asked to come over. She feared the worst had already come and tried to brace herself for it.

He had worked overtime and showed up still in his work gear.

"What's wrong?" she asked as soon as he came in. She had planned to wait till he sat down but she had to know.

"I put in for a week off to go back and see my son for a bit and it just got approved."

"Oh, well that's good. When are you going?"

"Monday, so we still have the weekend."

"God! I thought you were leaving already."

"The guys at work figure we'll be out there till late summer at least. You're stuck with me a while longer," he said, grinning.

Carol flopped on the couch, relieved that they still had time to figure it all out.

"So, do you work tomorrow?"

"Nope, why?"

"No reason," she said, suddenly a little embarrassed to ask him to stay.

Daryl clued in and decided to make the move first.

"Can I stay over maybe?"

She smiled, knowing he was making it easy on her.

"I suppose so," she said, with phony annoyance, "You hungry?"

"Starving! Could I use your shower though? I'm all dirty from work."

"Go ahead."

He wandered off to the bathroom and she got busy in the kitchen. She searched through the fridge for something nice and settled on steak and salad. It had been quite a while since she cooked for a boyfriend. She was in the middle of chopping vegetables when she heard the faint sound of singing from the bathroom.

 **Ooh I need your love babe**  
 **Guess you know it's true**  
 **Hope you need my love babe**  
 **Just like I need you**  
 **Hold me, love me, hold me, love me**  
 **Ain't got nothing but love babe**  
 **Eight days a week**

She walked slowly down the hallway toward the bathroom door to hear it better. Sure enough, he was singing The Beatles in her shower. This man couldn't be for real. She had just reached the door when he stopped singing for a moment and hollered.

"I don't see a towel in here!"

She remember they were in the cabinet and knocked on the door.

"They're in the cabinet!"

"I don't wanna get your floor wet can you grab it for me, please?"

She opened the door and he turned the water off. He was wet and the room was filled with thick steam. Carol had never seen anything quite so hot. He looked really good naked and wet.

"Towel?" he said, finally.

"God, I'm sorry."

She handed him the towel and kept staring as he dried off.

"Thanks, I feel human again. So ya gonna miss me when I go?"

She leaned against the bathroom counter and frowned, "I will, actually."

"Well, I'm gonna miss the hell outta you. A week'll go fast though, eh?"

She couldn't wipe the somewhat dreamy look off her face and stared at him unabashedly.

"You like what you see?" he asked her noticing her obvious stare.

She rolled her eyes at him and giggled.

"Yes, sorry...you look really, really good."

"Stop," he answered, shyly.

He was a mystery to her still. Sometimes he was bashful and yet at the same time really confident in bed. She could be the same though sometimes. She was normally an introverted bookworm but sex was a whole other thing and she liked to have fun in bed.

The weekend was heaven. She told him all about her mom and he sat quietly and let her get it all out. He was a good listener and he didn't interrupt with questions every two minutes. She hadn't told all of this to anyone in so much detail. Her dad had never been in the picture and she was an only child so it had all been left up to her.

She felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders just to say it all out loud.

"That must have been so hard to deal with by yourself, I wish we'd known each other then," he said, when he finally did speak.

"Thanks for listening to all this."

"No problem, that's what I'm here for."

He was too good to be true and she wanted to know more about him as well.

"So tell me about your son...if you want to."

"He's 15, his name is Josh. He doesn't like me working away so much. I still help support my ex and obviously him and there's no work in my field in Newfoundland."

"Sounds tricky. I'm sure he'll understand it all more as he gets older," she offered.

"I hope so, I'm only away cause I have to be."

"Can I ask why you're still supporting your ex as well? I'm not trying to be nosy."

"She's disabled, she had a work injury years ago. It just feels like the right thing to do even though she divorced me. I've been told I'm a sap by all the guys at work but it is what it is."

"You have to do what you think is right, I think it's admirable."

"She gets disability so I just help out but yeah...life's complicated, eh?"

She laughed, "Yeah, it really is."

She felt closer to him already and she liked more him the more she got to know him. The weekend was slow and simple. They kissed and watched TV and just enjoyed each others company. He was easy to be around and really funny when he wanted to be. It felt like he breathed life into her safe zone and made it come alive.

When she drove him to the airport on Monday night she had to think happy thoughts so she wouldn't tear up.

When he was checked in and waiting at the gate he turned and held her hand.

"Call me when you get there, OK?"

"I will, thanks for driving me."

"Of course."

The voice over the intercom called for boarding and she stood looking up at him like it was way too soon.

"Don't smoke, you!" he joked, "I won't be here to keep my eyes on ya."

"I won't."

He leaned down and made her heart skip a beat with the best goodbye, airport kiss in the world. He lifted her just a little off the ground and kissed her like he wouldn't be back in just a week.

"Wow," she breathed when he finally set her back down.

"It's gotta last you a week, had to make it good."

He winked and picked up his bag, heading off toward the man collecting the boarding passes.

"Love ya!"

She was waving and completely startled by his last words.

"Me too," she answered, hoping he heard it as he walked away.

 **Thanks for all the kind input so far:) I appreciate all the encouragement!**

 **Coming up with ideas and mapping it out and then putting it out there is not always easy but it's so worth the time and effort when awesome readers understand how much of your heart and soul goes into this.**

 **Love you guys:) xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Accelerant**_

By half past midnight Daryl landed in St. John's but he'd left a piece of his heart back in Regina. His son was all he needed here and to a smaller degree, his brother.

He called a cab to Merle's house hoping he'd be asleep when he got there.

The house he rented his apartment in was blue, bright sky blue. That was a beautiful thing about Newfoundland, people weren't afraid to paint their houses bright colours. Merle only inhabited the top floor and had only one bedroom. Whenever Daryl came to stay he slept on a pullout couch that crippled him but he hated hotels. He used to have an apartment here but he had been working away so much it was pointless to keep it. His few belongings remained in storage now. It was no way to live and he was sick of it.

Merle was sleeping when he got there which gave him a chance to sleep without getting shit faced first.

Merle was always happy to see him, it had a tendency to turn into a celebration.

He pulled out the couch, found a thin blanket and stretched out listening to the springs suffer beneath him.

He pulled out his phone and left a text for Carol.

 _ **Daryl ~ I'm here. Miss you already. Xo**_

He thought she might be asleep so he set his phone on the end table and rolled over.

He saw the light go off on his phone and grabbed it eagerly.

 _ **Carol ~ I miss you too. Glad you arrived safely, thanks for texting. Goodnight. Xo**_

He smiled in the dark, he couldn't wait to get back to her.

The next day he called his ex Trish to tell her he'd be picking up Josh from school.

"That's fine, I actually need to talk to you about something when you have a chance this week."

"What is it?" he asked. He was happy to deal with parenting stuff and he'd keep supporting her but he liked to keep his distance.

"There might be a job here for you."

"Aw Trish, we've talked about this. I can't run two households on the kind of money I'd make here."

How many times did they have to have the same conversation? It got exhausting.

"This is good money though, a permanent job with Sterling Crane. Also...I'm in a relationship now so..."

"So?"

"So, I don't think I need your support anymore but Josh could use a dad who's around more than once in a while."

Just when he didn't have to work away anymore is just when he wanted to keep it up. Life was designed to be ridiculous like this.

"I don't know anything about this job though."

"I'll text you a link, they are going to be hiring in the summer."

"I'll look into it. I gotta go, I'll bring Josh back tonight before bed."

"Fine, bye."

He spent the day hanging out with Merle and catching up on life around St. John's.

"I met a woman in Regina," he said. He had to tell someone.

"That's kinda stupid, isn't it? You don't live there."

"I don't really live anywhere, that's half my problem. I don't wanna be single forever and I'm not getting any younger."

"So move back here then."

"Yes, Merle, but she's there. See how that's still a problem?"

He sat back on the couch frustrated with the conversation already.

"So how long have you and her been going out?"

"Just a week but it's different." He knew exactly what the reaction would be to this and wasn't surprised by Merle's opinion.

"A week? And you wanna stay out on the prairies? Must be a good lay for you to wanna stay out there."

"Forget I said anything."

"Trish said there's a job out here, so you won't have to travel with the union anymore."

"She's told everyone about that, huh?"

"Pretty much. I think she's gonna be getting hitched again soon."

"I've only been gone a few months, who is this guy?"

"It's Douglas again, they got back together. She didn't tell you?"

"We don't talk that much."

By quarter to 4 he was waiting outside Josh's school.

"Hey! Josh!"

It's like he hadn't been expecting him to be there.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, didn't your mom tell you I'd be here. I got the week off to come see you."

"She didn't tell me anything, I have plans to go out with my friends today."

 _Damn it, Trish!_

"I can skip it if you want me to, dad."

"It's OK, buddy. You go ahead. I can see you later when you aren't busy."

"OK, I'll call you tonight."

"Sure, have fun!"

Daryl waited for the call, later that night and arranged to take him out the next day after school. He wondered what Trish was playing at not telling him, she was the one always pointing out that he needed to be there more.

He called Carol, he needed to hear her voice more than anything.

"Hey, Daryl, how are you?"

"Been a long day, how are you?"

"I'm fine. What's wrong?"

"My ex didn't tell my son I was coming so he had plans and I have to see him tomorrow instead and then she was going on about a job here in St. John's. God, I miss you."

"A job there?" It wasn't what she wanted to hear but maybe it was the best thing for him.

"I'm not gonna take it."

"Wouldn't you be closer to your son though?"

"Yeah, but I wanna be with you too."

She took a deep breath and waited for him to say more. Anything she said would sound like she was pushing him either way and that's not what she wanted.

"I don't know what to do with my life these days."

"It's a bit late to be making any decisions now, sleep on it, hey?"

"You're right. All I know is I need to be around you something fierce."

She smiled, laying back on the couch where they had sex and wishing he was with her.

"Me too. You'll be back Sunday night, right?"

"Yep, can you pick me up at 9? If not, I can take a cab."

"I'll be there."

"I can't wait to touch you, Carol."

"You're killing me, I love your voice."

"Next time I come through your door I am going to pin you to the wall and take you," he continued. He kinda wanted to make her squirm if he could.

"I can't stop thinking about your body and what you do to me, Daryl."

The sound of her voice was a little needy and awkward and it made his mind race.

"Jesus! There's nothing I won't do to you when I get my hands on you."

She wanted to make him eager to come back so she said something very out of character to tempt him. Somehow it was very easy for her to get carried away with him.

"When you talk like that it makes me wet, Daryl."

"Good God above, woman!"

She giggled and ran her fingers through her hair.

"You trying to get me hard from half way across the country?"

If he wasn't hard yet she was determined to make sure he was before they hung up.

"Speaking of hard, I still haven't done something for you that I'd love to do."

"Yeah? What's that?" She was gonna leave him hurting, he could feel it.

"When you get back here, I'm going to strip you down and get on my knees in front of you."

"...yeah?"

"Then I'm going to run my tongue slowly up and down your hard dick till you beg for more."

"Fuuuck me," he sighed heavily.

"Exactly. Then I'll take it in my warm hand and suck so gently and maybe you'll be good and moan for me?"

"I'll do anything you ask me...anything."

She could hear it in his voice, she was getting to him.

"I won't stop till you cum and you can watch all you like, that's a little Saskatchewan girl trick."

"My God!" he uttered and then whispered into the phone in a low growl, "You got me so hard, Carol."

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah, my brother's out buying beer."

"Then touch it for me."

He couldn't not touch it right now.

"You too."

"I already am," she said, and she had been for a few minutes already.

"Damn, girl!"

He gave in and started jerking off imagining her under him.

"How hard are you going to fuck me when you get back?"

He just groaned as he went, trying to keep his ear out for Merle coming back.

"Hard!" He managed to get out only the one word. She figured out that he couldn't say much while touching himself so she just spoke without questions.

"Imagine it in my mouth, baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good. I can't wait to taste you, Daryl..." She used her best soft, sexy sounding voice while touching herself at the same time.

She couldn't take it anymore and started moaning into the phone. She could hear him breathing heavily and she knew he was close as well.

"Carol...I'm gonna lick you everywhere and fuck you silly..."

"I think... I'm gonna cum, Daryl."

"Carol, I can't wait to go down on you for hours."

She came at that, her fingers moving swiftly over her wet pussy and the sound of his naughtiness over the phone. She let it out, sounding wanton and enraptured hoping he'd like the sound of what he was doing to her.

The next thing she heard was the obvious sound of him reaching the breaking point as well.

Mission accomplished.

A few moments later she heard him speak.

"You're gonna get it."

"I'm counting on it, Daryl. I can't wait."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Home Fires Burning**_

He stayed up later than he should have, drinking with Merle, but he couldn't resist his older brother acting the fool. Merle teased him relentlessly about falling for a woman in only one week but he didn't care.

The next day he arrived at the high school to pick up Josh and had a great evening planned. He took him for paintball and then pizza, Daryl wanted to catch up on everything.

"So how's school?"

"Fine."

"Got a girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah? What's she like?" Daryl was impressed.

"She in grade 11 and she really pretty, look."

He pulled a photo out of his back pack and handed it to Daryl.

"Hole crap! She older than you and this pretty? Good job!"

Josh shrugged his shoulders but smiled proudly.

"Has your mother talked to you about all that stuff with girls?"

"You mean sex?"

"Yeah, all that sorta stuff."

"She just told me not to."

"We'll talk about it before I go."

"So you gonna move back home and take that job?"

"I need to see how it all works out, Josh."

His son looked very disappointed and it seemed obvious Trish had gotten his hopes up already.

"I'm gonna do everything I can. I'll apply and see what happens, OK?"

"OK, dad."

Josh seemed happier with this answer and Daryl did owe it to him to try. He had no idea how to juggle things but he'd have to figure something out.

"Dad, I need to get back. I have a ton of homework."

"Sure, I'll take ya home."

When he got back to the house he used to call home his son ran up to his room after thanking him and relenting to a brief hug.

"He sure seems excited about the new job I don't even have, Trish."

"You spent years telling me you'd work here to be near him if you could, now you can. No more excuses, Daryl."

"You actually think I worked away for fun? Sleeping in ratty hotel rooms or living with strangers, never getting to have a relationship with anyone, for fun?"

"Don't start."

"You don't start. This is happening at a complicated time for me and you could have at least waited to talk to him about it."

"What's complicated about it?"

"I met someone too."

"So you're staying in Regina for a woman instead of coming back home for your son?"

"I'm not saying that, you just got Josh all excited about it without even talking to me."

"You do whatever you want, Daryl. You always do."

"Outside!"

"What?"

"I want to talk to you outside a minute where Josh can't hear it."

"No."

"Out!"

She walked out the door onto the porch and was about to let loose on him when he followed her out and held his hand up for her to wait.

"Listen to me. I never wanted to spend a single moment away from him, ever! I have been supporting you both happily for years. No court made me do that! I wanted to. I have been put through the ringer going all over the country to provide for you both but I met someone. I want to be here for Josh but I need to figure something out with my new girlfriend."

"I can't even believe that's an issue for you!" she hollered, "This is your son!"

"You get to have relationships here, Trish. I don't. I haven't had a proper relationship since you divorced me and I care about this woman. Why can't I have anything? You need to give me a second to think. I just need a little time and they aren't hiring till summer anyway."

He waited but she said nothing. He finally stopped her talking, he never thought it would happen.

"I'll pick him up from school all this week and if he wants to hang out we will and if he wants to come home, I'll bring him home. I'm not going to be guilt tripped into anything, Trish. I'm going to do the best I can, the way I always have but I need to be on my own priority list for a change."

He walked off feeling triumphant and ready to have a drink with Merle and then call Carol.

The rest of the week was perfect. He took Josh out almost everyday after school and the whole day on Saturday. They talked a lot and Daryl was able to explain his situation himself instead of Trish painting it her way. He told him he'd figure something out by summer and do whatever he could to make everyone happy and Josh was satisfied with that.

Daryl managed to have an awkward chat with Josh about consent, birth control and STDs. He answered a few questions and insisted he call if anything else came up. He bought him condoms but made it clear that it wasn't a free license to go and have sex, it was just in case.

"You should still wait cause you're too young but I just wanna know you have em when the time comes. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, dad, I got it. Thanks."

On the plane home he wondered how he'd ever manage to bring his two worlds together.

#########################

Carol kept busy all week so she wouldn't think about smoking or Daryl and started going for long walks around Wascana Lake every evening. She missed him more than she even thought she would.

Work was still boring her to tears and she was seriously considering changing jobs but had no idea what else she'd like.

She had Maddy over on Saturday night and couldn't resist indulging her in the details of Daryl's talents in bed.

"Sounds hot! Aren't you glad I told you to call him now?"

"Yes, it's still complicated as all hell but he's really something else. He was even singing The Beatles in my shower, he's too adorable."

"Awwww! So what's the plan for when you pick him up at the airport?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you two have been all hard core on the phone sex so you should tease him with something at the airport."

"Like what?"she asked,

"Do I have to tell you everything? You gotta pick him up in a long coat with nothing underneath or something hot like that!"

"Maddy, this is the real world where normal people live? Welcome!"

"Come on! At least skip the panties and tell him, it'll drive him crazy."

She considered this for a moment and it sounded more plausible.

"I got your wheels turnin' I knew it!"

"Shut up, Maddy!" she laughed.

##############################

So here she was now on the way to Regina Airport in a sundress with no panties on feeling more uncomfortable than she ever expected.

Carol got out of the car feeling like she should hold her skirt down against every single breeze.

He texted that he'd be landing soon and she walked past some smokers outside in the dark and got a sudden desire for one that she quickly shrugged off. She got inside, away from the smoke, and dug some cinnamon hearts out of her purse.

When she finally caught sight of him he looked good enough to eat walking toward her.

He dropped his bag at her feet and lifted her up kissing her deep without a single word.

He pushed his tongue past her lips, taking in the taste of cinnamon. When he let her down he buried his face into her neck, making her shiver.

Her hands came to rest on his hips, she wanted him so bad it hurt.

"God I missed you! I can't wait to get into your panties," he whispered into her hair.

She raised up on her toes to kiss his neck and answered, "You can't. I'm not wearing any."

He looked into her eyes, stunned and aroused.

"Come on!"

He wrapped his arm around her waist and grabbed his bag rushing for the exit.

When they got into the car he was all over her, letting his hands wander to her knees and biting at her throat.

"Let me take you back to my place...just wait baby..."

He growled and backed off letting her drive. Sex like this was too hot to not get you burned.

 _ **NEXT CHAPTER IS NSFW;) fair warning...**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**I know, I know, more smut! but these two have a strong sexual attraction and have spend a week apart having regular phone sex.**_

 _ **They weren't going to play scrabble when they saw each other again, right?**_

 _ **Backdraft**_

He kept letting his hand drift to her knee all the way home and she couldn't wipe the grin from her lips.

"No panties, huh?"

"Nope."

"Jesus! You're too much."

She kept driving, determined not to let his heat distract her from getting them there in one piece.

"You gonna let me go down there again?" He was squirming and horny as hell.

"Not until after I'm done."

"Done what?"

"You forgot already? I'm going to suck your dick, Daryl..."

She looked at him just long enough to wink and then her eyes moved back to the road, as casually as she could.

He sank into the seat and held his hands to his face. He was excited to get back to her place, behind closed doors.

When they parked outside her apartment he jumped out of the car and walked around to get her door.

She smiled up at him and he took her hand, almost pulling her along.

She got her keys out and unlocked the door and the moment she walked through he tossed his bag in the hall and kicked the door shut.

He pushed her to the wall and took her face in his hands kissing her hard. It took her breath away and she sighed into his mouth.

He didn't break the kiss while he unzipped his bunny hug and threw it to the ground.

He pressed into her, crouching enough to grab her leg behind the knee and lift it around his hip.

"This was such a long week," he said, before kissing her neck and thrusting his hips into her.

She moaned and started pulling his t shirt up over his head. She kissed his bare chest and licked his nipples making him hiss.

His hand slipped under her the back of her dress and he grabbed her ass thrusting into her again.

"You really don't have any panties..."

"Did you think I was teasing you? I meant everything I said, including what I plan to do to you."

Carol dragged him into the dark living room and lit a few candles. He stood next to the couch looking half horny and half nervous, she loved it.

He already had his shirt off so she proceeded to unbuckle his belt.

He started grabbing for her and she stopped his hands.

"Just please let me do this for a bit and then you can touch me...I wanna make you feel good, OK?"

"OK."

She unzipped his pants and pushed them down to the floor leaving his boxers on.

He stepped out of his pants and tried to calm down but it wasn't easy. He hadn't had a blow job in a million years.

She kissed his chest and moved down to his stomach touching him through his boxers and he was already feeling so hot.

She slid her hand down the back to feel his ass and moved her face gently over the front of his shorts. He could feel her hot breath through the material and it made him want to take her right then and there.

"Carol...I..."

"What's wrong?"

"You're gonna make me cum too fast and you'll have to wait a while till I can do anything else."

"Cum if you have to but I'm doing this, I can wait."

She pulled his boxers off and licked up and down his dick slow and soft.

She looked up and found he had his eyes closed.

"Watch, this is the best part!"

He dared to look just as she took almost his entire dick into her mouth and then moved back with just the right amount of pressure.

"Fuck!" he gasped, trying not to cum in her mouth.

She continued and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. She paused only long enough to reach down and pull her dress over her head and undo her bra, letting it slide down her arms.

"Carol...I..."

"Shhhhh...just cum for me baby."

She looked beautiful in the glow of the candles and he didn't know what to focus on, her breasts or her mouth on his dick.

He couldn't take it anymore, not one more second.

"Carol, watch out..."

He was trying to be considerate and warn her, they'd never done this so he had no idea what offended her.

She didn't move an inch, she only increased the pressure and grabbed his ass with her free hand digging her nails in just a little.

He was only human and let go into her mouth but she didn't make a single attempt to back up. He made a guttural, pain stricken sound he'd never heard before as he came.

He had to sit, his legs were weak.

He sank onto her couch panting and lifeless.

"That...that was incredible, thank you."

"You never need to thank me, I wanted to."

He regained his composure for a minute and she walked, stark naked, into the kitchen and grabbed an ice cold beer for him.

"Are you for real?"

She laughed at this, "Yes, I'm real."

"I must be the luckiest guy on the planet."

He drank half the beer in one sip and set it on the table before rubbing his hands together.

"My turn!"

"You don't need a break?"

"Nope. Come here!"

He lay back on the couch and waved her over. She approached him curiously wondering what he meant, surely he couldn't get it up already. She stood next to the couch looking at him with a puzzled expression.

Daryl knew he had her confused so he touched the leg closest to the couch and pulled it toward him.

"Wait...you mean?"

"Yep!"

He pulled her leg over his face and held onto her hips as she got herself adjusted. Carol lay one hand on the back of the couch and the other on the armrest. She hadn't done this in years and she knew he'd be amazing at it.

He pulled her down onto his mouth and pressed his tongue against her entrance.

"Fuck! Daryl...Jesus!"

She arched her back and he didn't let off the intensity even a little. His tongue moved entirely different than the last time, it was fast and with more pressure.

She couldn't help whining and rolling her body gently with the motion of his tongue.

He clung to her ass not letting her back up until he was done. She wasn't even sure exactly what he was doing with his mouth but she'd never felt anything so good.

Somehow it was like he was hitting every sweet spot she had at once and she knew she was reaching the limit.

She looked down and couldn't bear the hotness of it. He sucked her lips into his mouth and hummed just softly to create a hint of vibration and she let go louder and longer than ever before.

She unapologetically rolled her pussy over his mouth and didn't stop until her body shuddered and she knew it was over.

Her thighs were shivering as she climbed off his face.

"Sorry, you still alive under there?"

"Oh hell yeah! We're doin' that again soon!"

"Very happy to hear it!"

She flopped onto the couch feeling spent but still strangely enough wanting more, he made her voracious for it.

"You ready?"

She looked over to him, shocked to see he was obviously ready.

She led him into the bedroom where she asked him to bend her over the bed and fuck her from behind.

Carol had enough sense to remember to hand him a condom first, she wasn't interested in adding babies to this confusion.

They were so well matched sexually it was uncanny. She loved everything he did and vise versa.

His hands moved up and down her spine and she slid one knee up onto the bed.

He held onto her hips and tried not to go too hard until she begged him to do just that.

"You sure?"

"Please..."

It was over in less than five minutes but it was amazing, every single second of it.

He knew she was it for him. He'd known it before he left but now he had to tell her.

"Carol?"

She had crawled under the blankets to gather her mind and looked half asleep already

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She sat up and held the blankets to her chest looking at him as though she were a little scared of his words.

"Do you really mean that, Daryl?"

"I really do. You're all I think about, it's like I can see my whole future with you in it...I don't mean to pressure you I just had to say it out loud."

She reached for him and pulled him down onto the pillow next to her. She couldn't speak, she could feel herself tearing up.

Her face was pressed into his shoulder and she was fighting back her emotions.

Part of her had remained afraid that it might be a sexual thing for him or that he wasn't sure of where he wanted it to go.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I just...I feel the same, Daryl."

"I don't want to ever be away from you, Carol. I have to ask you about something really big, something it's probably not fair to even ask you."

 _ **More tomorrow:) Thanks for reading. Only a couple more chapters I think, this isn't a super long one.**_

 _ **love ya! xoxox**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Burning Question**_

"What is it?" she asked. She had no idea what had gotten him so serious right after sex and it concerned her.

Daryl got under the covers with her and lay his head on her pillow looking up at the ceiling. He opened his arms to her and she got up close, resting her head on his chest.

"I need you to promise me something," he began.

"Anything."

"It might be harder than you think. I need you to promise you won't answer my question for a while, at least till tonight."

"Why?"

"I need to know you really thought about it first, that's all."

She listened to the sound of his voice coming through his chest mingled with his beating heart. What could he possibly ask her that required this much thought?

"OK...I can't ask you this. Never mind," he said, frowning and changing his mind.

"Stop it, just ask me! You don't want me to hide a body or anything, do you?" She laughed to try and lift the tension.

"I have a chance at a job in Newfoundland where I could be with my son. I looked it up and it sounds permanent and kinda perfect. I wouldn't have to travel anymore and I could have a proper place to live for the first time in ten years."

"That sounds good," she said, but then decided to say no more until she knew where he was going with this.

"I want you to come with me. It's the most selfish thing I ever asked anyone but I could have a life there and I want you in it. I know you have a job here and friends and I'm not trying to act like my life is more important and if you don't want to that's OK. I can try and figure something else out for us."

She was glad he didn't want her to answer because she didn't know what to say.

"You really don't want me to answer?"

"Not yet. Tell me tonight if you want to, just give it some time. I didn't mean to dump this on you. This new job won't be hiring till summer so it's not right away but still really soon. God! I'm sorry."

"I promise I'll think about it, Daryl, it's OK."

He squeezed her shoulder and kissed her forehead looking at the time on his watch.

"You work in the morning, hey?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Do you need to go home to get all your work stuff?"

"Yes."

She kissed him and pulled him close. She would do as he asked and think about it, he seemed very certain that she should.

"Come over tonight, OK? I'll make you a nice supper."

"I couldn't say no to that, thanks."

He kissed her again and got up to get dressed.

He stood at her bedroom door before heading off and she smiled at him, still sitting in bed.

"I love you, Daryl."

"Love you, Carol."

############################################

He panicked all the way home and honestly thought he'd pushed too hard. It sounded more selfish the more he thought of it. Asking a woman who just buried her mother to move to the other end of the country for you was beyond crazy. He was basically saying "leave everything you have to make me happy and take a huge risk in the process."

How could he ask her that?

She got very little sleep turning it over and over in her head. _What would mom say?_

She did love him but was it even a little reasonable to take off with someone you've only known a couple weeks?

What would she do out there? Would she even like it? What about Maddy?

She crawled out of bed after broken listless sleep and got ready for work, she dreaded going.

It occurred to her then she could probably get a job she liked more somewhere else, maybe out east.

She made toast and coffee and checked her phone for the weather. It looked like it was threatening to rain outside.

 _ **Daryl ~ So sorry. You must think I'm a real prick:(**_

 _ **Carol ~ Stop:) I'll see you tonight, OK? ILY Xo**_

She hoped he'd stop being so hard on himself but she still hadn't decided, she was the type to overthink big decisions.

She briefly thought maybe a long distance relationship was possible, but then considered their week apart.

At work she had a nic fit that came out of left field, smoking always helped her think. She drank cold water and escaped to the break room, searching for cinnamon hearts but found none in her purse.

She sat on the coffee room couch and a work friend came in smelling of cigarette smoke and she felt a little jittery.

"You OK?" he asked.

"I'm good, just need a little break...got a headache."

"Alright."

When he left she closed her eyes, trying to relax. Then she heard Daryl's voice in the back of her mind going on about the warm, white light. She continued to listen from memory and smiled to herself with her eyes shut. She loved the sound of his voice and the fact that he had taken the time to teach her this, it was sweet. He had always been sweet. She stayed on the couch until she felt calm and realized Daryl had saved her again from going back to smoking. That's who he was, a stranger who walked into her life and helped her when nobody else could.

Now here she was, in love with him and yet wondering what to do next. It was starting to become clear but she still wanted to hear from Maddy.

After work she picked up salmon and pasta for dinner with a bottle of wine. She called Maddy the second she walked through the door and explained the situation.

"Wow Carol! Newfoundland is a long way!"

"Thank you! It's crazy isn't it?"

"Let me finish. What do you have here that you could lose?"

"You, my job, my apartment...uh...my sense of security and I don't know anything about Newfoundland."

"You won't lose me, so take that off the table. Do you even give a shit about your job?"

"Not lately."

"You can find another apartment, right?"

"Yes."

"Didn't you say he's still supporting his ex wife?"

"Yeah, for years now!"

"So you don't have any reason to think he'd just drop you destitute in another province then? He's a stand up guy by the sounds of it."

"Maddy!"

"What? I'm just asking questions."

"I know what you're doing."

"Carol, there's only one question that matters and you know it."

"I know."

"Now go make supper and call me later, no matter what you decided. OK?"

###################

Daryl didn't think she was mad at him for asking, necessarily. Carol wasn't really the type to get mad over a question.

Still, he wondered if he came across, desperate or clingy. To be honest he was desperate, he needed to be there for his son if he could but he couldn't let her go.

He made the mistake of opening up to Jordan at home as he got washed up and regretted it immediately.

"You seriously asked her to move after you've only fucked her a few times?"

Jordan laughed and let the 3 other guys in on the joke. Daryl laughed it off with them a little, he had to.

"You never know, she might," he defended, as he busied himself getting ready like he didn't care.

"You think you're so special she'll pick up her whole life just to keep you in pussy."

"Probably not," he said, walking into his room that felt more like a cell these days. The way men teased sometimes stung but he couldn't say anything.

They were all taking their turns getting their best jabs in, he wondered why men did this.

"You'll be lucky if she doesn't do the 'let you down easy then laugh behind your back' thing."

He grabbed his keys and wallet and felt about three feet high walking out of the basement.

"Thanks a lot guys!" he hollered down the stairs.

"Just think, Daryl! You could be a funny story she tells her girlfriends about next time she goes drinking!"

He got in the car and dropped his head to the steering wheel.

He turned the key and the radio was playing The Scientist by Coldplay.

 ** _Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are_**

 **I had to find you**  
 **Tell you I need you**  
 **Tell you I set you apart**

 ** _Tell me your secrets  
And ask me your questions  
Oh, let's go back to the start_**

 _Fuck! What the hell did you get yourself into?_

He drove over to her apartment so confused he couldn't think straight. He wondered if they were right, she said she loved him but that's very different from being willing to go with him. He was asking too much of her, that much was certain. It wasn't her problem that he was away from his son or had complications with his ex. He was trying to make it her problem and it wasn't fair.

He sat outside in the car for a long time looking up to her living room window, where a soft glow was emanating. He thought back to last night, the candles she'd lit and how beautiful she looked before he asked her this question and potentially ruined everything.

If he stayed right where he was it couldn't end and he wouldn't have to hear her say no...


	12. Chapter 12

_**Eternal Flame**_

It was almost 7pm and she was starting to wonder where he was. She was trying to keep everything warm but it wouldn't be good for much longer. She decided to text him to see when he'd be there.

 _ **Carol ~ You're still coming, right? ;)**_

 _ **Daryl ~ yeah, sorry I'll be right up.**_

In only a matter of minutes she heard a knock at the door and let him in.

"Hey," she said, giving him a warm hug and kiss, "you hungry?"

"My stomach's in knots."

"Come, sit down."

She knew he was feeling anxious and she wanted to tell him what she decided right away.

She poured him a glass of wine and had one herself, she needed it tonight.

He sat on her couch and fidgeted with his hands.

"Carol, I'm going off my head thinking about this and I don't think it was right for me to ask you this."

"You don't want me to come with you now?" She was suddenly lost about where she stood.

"I've wanted you with me since the moment we met but all the guys back at my place said I was an idiot to ask you that."

"Daryl, do you regret asking me?"

"No, but I don't want you to feel pressured or anything. I have baggage in my life and I'm trying to drag you into it."

He took a long sip and so did she. She knew what she wanted to do, her mind was made up but it was interesting to hear what he was thinking.

"Daryl, you need to stop listening to them and listen to me, OK? I have a lot to say to you."

"OK."

His wine glass was already almost empty and she leaned over to fill it before she started to speak.

"I lost the one person who matters most to me, as you know. She spent my whole life telling me to get out of my own head. It sounded like hippy nonsense for years, I didn't get it. I had my books, my music and a few close friends. I thought all I needed were these things and the occasional boyfriend who I never got all that attached to. I thought that was it for me, I didn't know I was missing anything till I met you."

He looked at her and hoped this was going to end well but he was still just taking it in and couldn't be sure yet.

"My mom would think it's reckless and irrational to go with you, I'm sure of it. I also know if she saw how happy you make me and what we have together she'd kick me if I didn't take the chance. You came out of nowhere and helped me when I needed it most. I want you to get back to your son and have a proper home and I want to live with you there."

"Are you sure, Carol?"

"I'm sure, Daryl. If you want me to, I'll go with you anywhere."

He moved toward her slowly. She wasn't real, she couldn't be. He sighed heavily and took her hand.

"You OK?" she asked, moving his hair out of his face.

"I was terrified to come up here. They all said you'd dump me and laugh at me behind my back. I'm so glad they were wrong, but I was feelin' like shit sitting outside in the car for the last 20 minutes."

Carol saw red and very quickly knew what needed to happen. She got up and walked into the kitchen to turn off the oven.

"What's up?" he asked, as she grabbed her purse and nodded at him.

"Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"We have a job to do."

She walked out to her car and he followed her although he didn't know what she was up to. She turned the key in the ignition.

"What's your address?"

"Huh?"

"Daryl, where's your house?"

He told her the address and she started driving, saying nothing else.

"Seriously, what are we doing?"

"You'll see."

She pulled up outside the rundown house he was calling home for this job.

"You live here?" She couldn't believe anyone would live in such a dump.

"In the basement," he said, "the cheaper place I stay, the more I can send back home."

"Come on then!"

She started walking to the basement entrance and he followed behind her stuttering, "These guys...they're just pricks...they aren't even worth talking to, babe."

"I know."

"Then why are we here?"

He opened the door for her and followed her down the steps to the basement where all four men were hanging out in sweats and drinking.

"Which room is yours, Daryl?"

"This one," he pointed.

She walked into his room and started putting his clothes in bags and gathering his stuff.

"Carol...?"

"Daryl, you aren't spending one more night with these idiots in this horrible place. You're coming home with me."

He melted into the doorway just watching her, he couldn't believe it.

"Then, when you get your new job we'll move to Newfoundland together, OK? This is how sure I am, Daryl, I positive about you."

He walked to her and kissed her hard, lifting her into his arms.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she said, between kisses, "Now shut that door and make love to me on this bed."

"Get outta town!" he said, grinning.

He shut the door and shook his head in disbelief.

She pulled her shirt over her head and pushed him down on the old mattress. She straddled his hips and his hands moved up her bare back. She kissed his neck from one side to the other, slowly teasing his skin with her tongue.

She rolled her hips over his crotch causing him to let out a nice groan that she hoped those assholes heard.

She slid her hand down and touched him through his pants while moving her tongue over his right ear.

"This will be a good way to say goodbye to places like this," she purred.

He grabbed for her ass and she sighed heavily. She sat up, undoing her bra and tossing it on the bed. This had to be a quickie but it would also be a lot of fun.

He grabbed for her breasts and she moaned his name into the tiny room.

She got up quick and gave him a wicked look.

"I want you stripped, Daryl! Give it to me like only you can!"

She spoke a litte louder on purpose so his roommates would hear it. They were only ouside the door in the main living room area, she was sure they'd hear it all.

He took everything off in a frenzy to get her under him. Carol wrapped her legs around his waist already aroused by the heat and the ridiculous situation.

The idea of them hearing him please her when they had treated him like shit was getting them both off.

He touched her and found she was more than ready.

"Now, Daryl! I need it, I need you inside me!"

He grinned and slid into her making her back arch and her eyes close tight.

She embelished a little but it felt amazing as it always did. Soon she forgot all about the people she was trying to make a point with and fell completely under his spell.

He rose up on his knees and his fingers drifted over her clit as he fucked her in a steady rhythm.

"Jesus!...please don't stop..."

It was just loud enough that it could be well known that he was making her happy.

She was just about to cum and winked at Daryl as she touched her own breasts for him.

"God damn it, Carol!" he growled.

They both finished about the same time and he held her for just a moment, he wanted to get out of there fast. They spent a few minutes giggling amongst themselves while getting dressed and gathering his stuff. He only had some clothes, his computer and a few books so thankfully it was only one load. When he opened the bedroom door they all looked up at him like a bunch of lemmings.

"You can't have women over, Daryl. It's against the landlord agreement," Jordan complained.

"I'm leaving so it doesn't matter, does it?"

She stood at the stairs waiting for him and when he came over she kissed him deep and grabbed his ass.

"Can't wait till we move to Newfoundland together, babe. Let's get out of this shithole."

When he took one last look back they all had their eyes wide and stupid mouths gapping open. He grinned and left with a giddy feeling inside, she was his hero.

Carol walked straight to the car with him hot on her heels.

"I should have checked with you first, Daryl, but I was so mad!"

She turned the key as he put his stuff in her trunk and then came to sit next to her.

"I can't believe you did that! That was amazing! I thought you were kinda quiet but...wow!" He was blown away by her.

"You saved me from smoking. Now I'm saving you from assholes and by the look of that place, probably fleas too."

He laughed and kissed her again.

"So what now?" he asked, looking over at her with admiration. He was up for anything as long as they were together.

"You come live with me and then we move to Newfoundland when you get that job and then you introduce me to your son and then you marry me and stay right next to me until we're old...sound good?" She rambled playfully with a smile so wide it hurt her cheeks.

"Are you proposing?" he asked, smirking and nudging her leg.

"Yes, what do you say?"

"I say yes."

She giggled and turned up the radio, she felt high from the stunt they just pulled.

When they got back to the apartment she unpacked all his stuff and threw in a load of laundry. She fixed them a quick salad since the supper she made earlier was no good.

Carol took him into the shower with her and he felt at home with her, everything was right.

"Your place is so much nicer than where I was."

He looked around at the clean towels and counters and there weren't beer cans and chip bags everywhere.

"Hey, this is our place now. Come to bed."

After the shower he curled up next to her in her big, clean bed feeling peaceful. He held onto her from behind and kissed the back of her neck with his eyes closed thinking about marrying her. Josh would love her, he knew it. He could show her all his favourite places back home and introduce her to Merle. They could buy a bright red house on the main street and grow old by the ocean together. There was so much to look forward to now.

"Thank you, Carol. I love you so much."

"Love you, Daryl. Sweet dreams."

He drifted off quickly with pleasant thoughts in his mind.

#####################

She could tell by his breathing when he had fallen asleep. She held his hand against her chest and smiled to herself. She had let someone in and everything was going be fine. She was supposed to find him and they were meant to be together. Maybe her mother had a hand in it, she wasn't sure if she believed that completely but the idea of it made her smile nonetheless.

 _I think I get what you meant now, mom._


End file.
